SEW FRUSTRATED!!!!

Okay, so I have nothing "spirtual", deep, inspirational or just generally clever to say right now (or ever... depending on your opinion of this blog ;-)) but I need to vent. And since I don't have a 'poor' husband to listen to me rant and rave and I am quite sure that it would not be fair to put my daughter through such a thing, I have turned to this Blog.
No, nothing major happened... nobody sent me a nasty email, I did not get looked over for an important job because I am a woman, nobody cut me off in traffic (which is probably good cuz I don't have a licence), I haven't been subjected to whiny kids all day, fighting over toys and such (both of my little charges, biological and loaned for the afternoon were in good spirits today and quite amiable), I didn't get a visit from an unexpected, uninvited aunt, nobody blamed my bad mood on PMS (which will instantly put a woman in a bad mood, if she wasn't already... I know I sometimes get cranky because of it but that is not the culprit today.. atleast nobody better say that's the reason). No nothing like that...
The simple fact is I want to break, kill, smash, destroy, annihilate, bomb, whack, smack my cantankerous, fussy, touchy sewing machine.

See, because I am taking the summer off before going back to work in September, I decided to sew up my daughter's Halloween costume. I want to get it done nice and early because I don't know what my schedule is going to be come September. Sounds simple enough... right??? I mean you buy a patten, you buy the material, you buy the other necessary things... you then proceed to cut out the pattern and voila,,, sewing begins... How hard can that be...
Well, today has shown me that all the times I have ever sewed anything before must have been beginner's luck... either that or my sewing machine has become possessed by none other than the demon of tangled thread. I have just spent the last 45 minutes trying to figure out why this infuriating machine has decided to forget what it was made to do after 2 days of working properly. Did it get a mind of it's own and decide I was working it too hard and go on strike... Did someone with a grudge against me decide that while I was at the store, they would come into the house and tinker with it, causing it to continually misfeed and make a tangled mess, did it feel the sudden call to become a spider and the jarbled pile of yellow thread accumulating on my table is it's early attempt at web-making...
I really don't know the answer but what I do know is that when I felt I could no longer resist the urge to throw open my kitchen door and chuck the irksome thing down the flight of stairs, I gave a cry that could only be described as a cry of defeat and came in here to vent... and to think of wonderfully cruel ways to dispose of a hateful, thankless machine.
Nothing says loving like a hand-sewn costume... Right???

The weak and weary cries out to the STRONG one

Mighty God:
You are the maker of heaven and earth. You spoke and the world was created. Your power is not measurable, your strength is beyond understanding, your love reaches beyond what the human mind can comprehend.
In the greatest act of love and mercy you sent your precious Son, the Saviour of the world to die at the hand of your creation. You let Him die that I might be saved. Three days later you brought Him to life, victorious over death. In that victory you allow me to share. I, too, by trusting in you and in your Son, my Saviour, have the hope and the promise of life everlasting. PRAISE GOD!!!
Lord, you have commanded me not to worry. In my worry I can change nothing. All I can do is rob myself of the joy, peace, and hope I have when I trust in you. But Lord you know that trusting is hard for me. One part of me always whispers doubts. Father I believe in you and your promises to take care of me. My doubts stem from my ability to discern your will for me.
Father, I am a weak believer. In most ways Lord I feel so young in the faith. I want to be all that you created me to be and most of the time I feel as though I must be such a disappointment to you. With all that you have given me, all the advantages my life has already had, I feel like I have squandered them away. And Father I am so sorry. I ask for your forgiveness and I thank you that while it is so undeserved it is so freely given.
I don't know how to get on the path you want for my life. It seems so simple Lord, when people say pray and listen for His voice. But Father, it is not so simple as it is made out to be. My judgment in the past has been faulty and I don't trust it now to be correct. My selfish will is stronger Lord some days than my will to serve you. I am afraid to make choices because I am afraid that I will be making them more out of selfish gain than service to my precious Lord. Father I cry out to you to break me of my selfishness. Let me focus on you Lord and your pleasures, not my own. Forgive me Lord, I pray for all the times my own will governed how I lived and not your will.
Father, I am scared of messing up. Plain and simple, I don't want to get my life wrong. I don't want to be a disappointment to you. I want to be a good and faithful servant. Help me Lord to hear you, in a clear way. Father I pray you would use your children to confirm what your reveal to me. Let it be a spontaneous confirmation and not solicited. Let it come from unexpected people so that doubts are eliminated. Make me open to your will. Let your Spirit minister in me, Father. Search me, Oh Lord and make me clean. Father renew me in you.
Lord, I lay my concerns to you now and I ask that you would help me to leave them at your feet.
-healing for Kasey, wise doctors and a solution to the never ending throat infections/ tonsillitis
-a job that has hours that corresponds with whatever hours Kasey's childcare provider has
-childcare for Kasey that is accessible and affordable and does pick up after school if necessary
-enough money each month to make ends meet... Lord you know my every need.

Father, I leave these concerns with you. God make me aware of your will and a usable vessel for your glory. Help me to step out in faith, trusting in your never failing, protective arms.
I love you and I seek to serve you. Grow me Oh Lord, I pray in faith, love and service.

AMEN.