Profound, maybe not... Important... absolutely!

Tonight was one of those nights that I sat on the couch and started thinking... (definately a dangerous thing to do). Anyways, my thoughts were focused mainly on the future... what will I do after school... how am I going to manage paying back my student loans, daycare, will I get a job that makes four years of university worth it, what does God want for my future... you know, those types of questions and I realized that despite all my brave words and fake bravado, I am really worried. It is one thing to tell people that God has it under control but completely another thing to believe it and live it.
The more I thought about all the changes coming up in the not so distant future, I started to feel very overwhelmed and very scared. The verses found in Matthew chapter 6 "So I tell you, don't worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food, drink, and clothes. Doesn't life consist of more than food and clothing? Look at the birds. They don't need to plant or harvest or put food in the barns because your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are" (25-26), while wonderful, did not provide any comfort because as much as I would like to shut off the worrying, I don't know how.
At this point, you can picture if you will, me lying on the couch, sobbing because of the overwhelming dread I am feeling because I don't know what the future holds and my imagination is working overtime conjuring up every imaginable atrocity. I had lots of questions but no answers so I did what I always do when I can't figure out a solution on my own... I turned to my LORD. (Why I don't do this right at the beginning of the worry, I don't know, but I hope that as I grow in my faith, I will be quicker to turn to Him.)
I confessed to Him every fear, worry, and concern I had, begging for answers or peace or both. What I got was relief. HUGE RELIEF!!!! What a tremendous weight was lifted from me as I got honest before Him. How great it felt to just put it all out there, to not pretend to be some pillar of faith when I am barely a twig.
To confess to Him how weak I am and how I know that it is impossible for my future to have any meaning if I try to plan it on my own.
When I finally said amen, I didn't have any answers but I did have a certain peace that I was not facing my future all alone. I decided to pick up my Bible and read a little bit, as I was flipping through to the New Testament, my eyes fell to Psalm 34. I stopped to read it and verses 6 and 7 jumped out at me. "I prayed to the LORD, and he answered me, freeing me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. I cried out to the LORD in my suffering, and he heard me. He set me free from all my fears."
Well I can tell you in all honesty, that this child of God, felt her Father speaking loud and clear. He truly is my strength, my refuge, my protector. I am quite sure, knowing my weak spirit that there will be many more moments of doubt and fear and just plain old worry but I plan to memorize and cling to these verses because this is a promise my Father has made to me! I am so grateful to be a child of the KING!